Caitlyn Jenner Tells How She Watched Her Primetime Special

[/tvshowbiz/caitlyn_jenner/index.html Caitlyn Jenner] has opened up on how a small gesture by pop superstar [/tvshowbiz/lady_gaga/index.html Lady Gaga] helped her cope with the stress and trauma of publicly admitting her transition.
Jenner says that she was terrified at how the world would react when she appeared on an ABC News special with Diane Sawyer to reveal that she was transgender in April 2015.
And in a new interview the former Olympic decathlon gold medalist opened up on how coming out and going through a transition was not an easy process, but riddled with doubts.
Reality star Jenner, speaking to a new show called [ ]with Serena DC, also denied claims that her family were divided at the time.
In a new interview, the former Olympic decathlon gold medalist opened up on how coming out and going through a transition was not an easy process
Jenner says Lady Gaga was first to express support for her publicly and that small gesture helped her cope with the stress and trauma 
In preview footage of the show obtained exclusively by DailyMailTV the 70-year-old revealed ex-wife Kris Jenner did sit with their daughters to see the show, despite turmoil between them over the issue.
Jenner also said she feared the public 'would kill her' and that social media trolls would attempt to ruin her life.
The panic for Jenner reached its peak when she agreed to provide a two hour insight into her sexual transformation in April 2015.
'And so all my kids, because they live in that world…and in fact when I ran into Lady Gaga told her, 'you were the first and I so appreciate it'
'It started out as a one hour special and she was getting so much material that Diane Sawyer called the head of ABC News and said I need two hours not one,' Jenner told show host Serena de Comarmond, better known as Serena DC.
'We needed two hours to explain everything.

But when I sat there I did not see the show before it went on the air, as it is news I went over to Kris' house, and there I got Kourtney, Kimberly, Khloe, Kendall, Kylie, Kris and myself.
'And it is coming on and I am thinking, 'oh my God...
what is the reaction going to be?' I knew one thing, it would be taking tons of weight off my shoulder, because nobody knew about it at that point because it was all rumors and tabloids.
'I don't know how the public is going to react to something like this.

They could just kill me.
'And so we're sitting there watching it, and of course Diane is phenomenal, and about 15 minutes into it I am sitting on the couch with the most social media family in the world, so they are all sitting here going like this [imitates using phone] and somebody said, Oh my God, Lady Gaga just posted something.
Which was so positive. Oh my God this is the greatest night ever, and on and on and started posting stuff.
'And so all my kids, because they live in that world…and in fact when I ran into Lady Gaga told her, 'you were the first and I so appreciate it'.
'And then after that every celebrity in the world started posting stuff.

Elton John, you name it, Jennifer Lopez, you name it. And so my kids are reading all this, I really think that turned my kids around saying you know what, it's going to be okay.'
Caitlyn Jenner says that she was terrified when she appeared on an ABC News special with Diane Sawyer to reveal that she was transgender in April 2015
She explained how ex-wife Kris Jenner sat with their daughters to see the show, despite turmoil between them over the issue
Jenner said her decision to come out was the right one for her family and she believes she 'made a difference' to the LGBTQ+ community worldwide.
'When you go up to the pearly gates and you know there is a beginning, middle, and end to this thing called life...

I'm quite accepting of that.
'But when you go up to the pearly gates and say, 'hey did I do a good job? Did I make a difference?' Hopefully he says yeah, go on in.'
Jenner also detailed how photographers caught her getting an early procedure for her Adam's apple and was terrified of being exposed.
Still at that time a secret, she pleaded with TMZ's founder Harvey Levin not to publish any stories about the surgery.
Jenner too recalled how during her 20s as the world's most famous decathlete Bruce, her mental health was deeply impacted
And Keeping Up With the Kardashians star Jenner again recounted how she considered suicide as she felt so trapped in the body of Bruce - after decades of hiding her true sexual orientation - but the fear of it coming out was worse.
Jenner said: 'When you're dealing with stuff like this, you try to do little things that you can get away with.

I always hated my Adams apple so I figured, you know what, even though I have the paparazzi all around me I think I might be able to sneak in and get that done. It's nothing, it's just a little thing there.
'And I came out and I walked literally a foot between the alleyway and myself in the car I was leaving in, we never saw them, but somewhere there was a paparazzi.
'Harvey Levin is calling me saying we got this picture, looks like you were having a tracheal shave, this is the beginning of transitioning and I said, Harvey, don't be printing the stuff.

You have no idea what's going on.6
'Anyway, I knew that was coming out. That night I couldn't sleep and I literally thought the easy way out. Because we have an enormous problem with suicide in our community. It's nine times higher than the general public.
We lose so many young people to suicide. And murder. We've been losing a trans woman of color about every two weeks to murder; you don't realize how bad it is.
'And (I was ) walking up and down this hallway, so depressed, I thought that media is going to come out tomorrow and they are going to be all over me.

And I thought, you know the easy way, to go to the back room - don't even have to deal with it, over with. Just like that.
'Obviously I didn't do it. Thank God.
'The next day I'm walking around. I go up for this hike back up in the mountains, I'm going through this field, I'm thinking about last night, that it was just stupid.
'Because I would just silence my voice.

Okay what's the worst that could happen? Okay, you transition, people don't like you anymore. But on the other hand, maybe I can do something. 'What a great opportunity, playing in the fourth quarter of your life, to make a difference in the world.
'Maybe that's the way to go because I can't live like this anymore.

Maybe that's the way to go.'
'And so all my kids, because they live in that world…and cho thuê xe ô tô tự lái tại hà nội in fact when I ran into Lady Gaga told her, 'you were the first and I so appreciate it,' Jenner said 
Jenner too recalled how during her 20s as the world's most famous decathlete Bruce, her mental health was deeply impacted.
Even on the greatest day of her professional career winning gold at the 1976 Olympics, she considered taking her own life.
She admitted she always decided to 'keep your mouth shut and go play sports.

Be a boy, be the ultimate.'
Jenner continued: 'I never thought that I would go as far as I did. The morning after the games, I had just won the games the day before, set a record, life's good, walk into the bathroom and on the counter is the medal.
'I don't have a stitch of clothes on, I put the metal around me and I looked at the mirror and I said, 'what the hell did you just do?' What scared me was, 'am I stuck with this character for the rest of my life?' Did I build little Bruce up so big that am I stuck with him for the rest of my life?

'Now he was a good person, did tremendous things, not a bad way to go if you're going to go but it wasn't all of me. And I thought, you know the easy way, to go in the back room, don't even have to deal with it, over with. Just like that.'
Serena D.C's Jenner interview is one of six that feature in her new show.
The Australian interviewer also sat down with Tara Reid (American Pie), Deepak Chopra (Metahuman), Corey Feldman (The Lost Boys), Colin Egglesfield (Something Borrowed) and Daniel Goddard (The Young and the Restless) to discuss their epic highs and rock bottom lows.
DC is on a mission to bring stories of personal transformation and inspiration to the world.
This series, Serena's celebrity guests will share never before heard stories of deep personal moments in their lives that pushed them to their limits but that taught them their greatest life lessons.